July 22, 2013

Hey! These Vigilante Bikini Bottoms Are Really Giving Me A Wedgie!!!

Salve Omni!

The San Diego Comic Con has come yet again, and sadly, my husband and I were unable to go. Instead, I have been keeping informed of the con goings-on via the Internet. I especially like to see the photos of cosplayers in attendance - dressing the part is always cool! It is especially interesting and awesome to see the varying costumes worn by the female cosplayers, and I must say, it is very refreshing to see so many women attending this event. See fellas, women can geek out just as hard!

There is one thing I have noticed however, regarding the art of female cosplay...the choices tend to get shorter and skimpier! No, I am not referring to the choices available, but I am referring to the costumes worn. Yes, it is great to totally geek out while representing your favorites through cosplay, but Ladies...does everything have to be short, tight, skimpy and damn-near non-existent? Often, there is nothing left to the imagination! I get it, there's the famous gold bikini worn by Princess Leia, and many other iconic skimpy and sexy outfits worn by famous female Science Fiction and Fantasy characters, but it makes you wonder - is this all there is to our female super heroines, vigilantes, and video game and TV/movie characters? True, those who fight crime and evildoers for a living don't need to be hindered with layers and layers of clothing and loose-fitting garments that could be easily grabbed or get in the way of an awesome karate kick, but...really?

Not everything should leave little to the imagination. Just imagine...you're a vigilante or super heroine, fighting your nemesis in a battle to the death, wearing bikini bottoms (I don't mean the boy shorts) and a tight corset top. You go to deliver a life-saving death kick, and the next thing you know, your "panties" are riding up, or, worse, they are giving you quite the wedgie! Your mind is now focused on discomfort, which will make the remainder of your battle an interesting one. I don't think your opponent will want to stop and wait for you to shift things...he or she will be counting on any sort of distraction to throw you off your game. I am a woman, and I understand completely the desire for women to want to look and feel sexy and awesome as well as being badasses in battle, but, in my opinion, we can't be expected to dress this way at all times.

I am reminded of one of my favorite video games, Mortal Kombat, 2011 edition. Though I love playing this game with my husband, I always get to thinking about the female fighters. Most of them have Barbie doll-like proportions - huge boobs and tiny waist. Most also wear very little clothing. Even Sonya Blade, who is supposed to be part of the military, and who does wears pants, can barely keep her bosom from popping out as she fights in some sort of skimpy black vest with no bra. Now, if you're a woman, you know that unless you are wearing an extremely-restrictive bra, the moment you do so much as a cartwheel, the girls are coming out to say hello. Especially in a low-cut top. So when Ms. Sonya Blade does that famous upside-down leg grab kick move, well, I am amazed how well "the girls" defy gravity and stay in place! It's amazing, by the end of a bloody match, just about any of the lovely ladies of Mortal Kombat will barely have a strip of cloth left to cover their "girls" at all. Because women fight mostly from the chest...right? Eye candy? Yes! Practical? Not in any way, shape or form! If you don't believe me, play the game.

For female characters such as Mileena, Wonder Woman, Miss Marvel, Power Girl, and many, many others, I often wonder, where do they get all this time to "spruce up"? Ladies, you know that wearing a swimsuit alone requires a good deal of personal maintenance. It is just unrealistic and unbelievable to me to think that these women choose to wear this revealing crap all of the time. When do they schedule time for a bikini/underarm wax? When do they have time to shave their legs? And when it's "that time-of-the-month", well, I know I wouldn't be very comfortable fighting, flying (and doing super-high kicks) constantly in super high-cut bottoms with little coverage. And come on - have we forgotten about the bloating??? Spandex or no, who wants to wear such body-skimming garments during this "special time"? Suppose they eat and drink a bit too much at Thanksgiving dinner - well, I bet you it won't be as much fun trying to squeeze back into that costume! Midriff or stomach-baring garments - not unless they want the dreaded after-a-heavy-meal pudge to show!

I'm waiting for the adventures of the moderately-comfy badass! A more true to life woman, she'd still be sexy...hey, there's nothing wrong with bearing a little cleavage, but her outfit of choice would be form-fitting workout pants or leggings and tank top or fitted T-shirt when she's kicking butt. And on those "special days", sweatpants and a hoodie. And why not sport some wedge-heeled boots or sneakers rather than stilettos? Still awesome, and she won't be hobbling around in agony after a couple of hours of fighting on a rooftop or patrolling the "mean" streets. She'll be outfitted in comfort, which means she can spend more time out protecting the city, than in some salon, getting her bikini area waxed before making an appearance. Oh no!!! An evil villain is destroying the city, and she hasn't had time to shave her legs! Never fear - she'll simply throw on some cute pants and a T-shirt and she'll save the day anyway!

I like to get my geek on just as much as the next girl, but when it comes to cosplay, I think, sometimes, that more is more. No wonder men think that if a woman is blessed with super powers or roams around with superior fighting abilities, that her first outfit of choice must be body-hugging and suggestive, and that she has to have the perfect tiny body of a goddess. What about her skills? Well, I guess no one is looking at that! Just another observation further confirming my theory that we are way too focused on the visual. Sure Ladies, let's look good at what we do because we are good at what we do. But there is much more to the life of a super heroine, warrior and vigilante than running around wearing next to nothing!