October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween!

Salve Omni!

Wishing you a happy and magical day of fun, frolic, revelry and merrymaking…with just a touch of the macabre!

I found Balthazar seated in his comfy chair last night, writing something secret.  He wouldn’t let me see what he was composing, but I can only assume that it might be horror-related (judging by the open book of Poe’s Poetical Works and the skull he was seeking inspiration from).  I am guessing that we can expect some more Balthazar-esque poetry soon – or some kind of messed-up memoir…either way, we should all be worried!

Well, Dear Readers, have a good one!

October 26, 2013

The Great Pumpkin-Carving Fright

Salve Omni!

Happy weekend!

The time is almost nigh – so I thought I would share another one of my original, darkly-humorous poems to get you in the Halloween spirit.  As usual, it was written (actually, this morning!) with my creepy-cute little teddy bear, Balthazar, in mind.  Here he goes again, quietly terrorizing yet another poor defenseless Victorian child…perhaps I need a bit of counseling!

Let me know what you think!

The Great Pumpkin-Carving Fright

(Original poem by Trijan Maddux, 10-26-2013)

Little Patrick Skranton loved to carve jack-o’-lanterns –
He carved them with oh-so-much pride!
His heart left him too weak to play hide-and-go-seek,
And his parents confined him inside.

He usually carved –
Not to be attention-starved –
In the audience of his favorite stuffed bear.
This particularly-gloomy day,
Try as he may –
His companion could not be found, anywhere.

“Oh where could he be, my little bear, B?”
Patrick searched as much as his little heart was able.
Deciding soon after to give-up the chase –
His attention turned, with quick haste –
To a pumpkin sitting on the kitchen table.

Taking a carving knife –
The highlight of his dismal life,
He began to cut open the top.
To his unfortunate surprise –
Was met with a pair of beady glass eyes –
Which gave him such a fright –
That his little heart stopped!

Poor Cook found him dead –
Heart filling with such dread,
As she witnessed the horrific sight.
Patrick lay there, cold, clutching his chest,
Eyes wide-open in fright!

The little bear, B…but where then, was he?
Sitting there, but quietly, on the cold tiled floor.
This suspicious guest –
Covered in a great pumpkin mess –
Curiously, was wearing a striking pumpkin lid hat…
Need I say more?


October 23, 2013

Beetlejuice…Beetlejuice…A Second Beetlejuice Movie in the Works? Could it be???

Salve Omni!

So, there has been an exciting little rumor buzzing all around movie land and the Internet…and if it is true, I will be the happiest girl in the world!  For those who haven’t heard, supposedly, (fingers crossed!) there is talk of a second Beetlejuice movie in the works.  And, yes, it looks like Michael Keaton will be reprising his role as Beetlejuice!!!  The only drawback – it is not certain if Tim Burton will come back to direct the second film – What?????  This can’t be true!!! 

If it is true, and Tim Burton decides not to direct, I pray to God above that whoever takes charge will keep the adult humor and the dark quirkiness that Tim Burton so wonderfully-established in the first film.  I am begging you, Do Not Make This Into A Kid-Friendly Cutesy-Type Film!  It just won’t work!

Just in case the writers might be stuck on what to write about or which direction to take, I am here to help.  Here is my brilliant idea for part 2:

The movie starts out, years later, same house – except now, Lydia, her husband, and their two teenage children, live there.  Lydia’s dad and stepmom moved away years ago, leaving her the house.  Though Lydia is now married, she still remains the Goth character that we remember from the first film.  To add a little dramatic flair, let’s make her husband more of a hipster-type skeptic.  Their two teenage kids (a boy and a girl), are outcasts and misfits, and take more after their mother; with interests in the paranormal and the macabre.  I must point out that Lydia’s ghost couple pals, Adam and Barbara Maitland come around occasionally, but they no longer inhabit the house.  Instead, they are busy “traveling the world.” 

The drama begins one rainy afternoon, when the bored teenagers decide to go snooping around in the old attic.  You see, Lydia and her husband went away for the weekend.  They find a box of their mom’s old stuff…including a diary that chronicles all of the events that occurred in the first film.  So…being full of curiosity about their mom’s interaction with the paranormal, they break out the old Ouija board (when will people ever learn?) and attempt to contact the spirits of the Maitlands, with no luck.  Just when they feel as if their attempts were pointless, a portal is opened, and Beetlejuice, who has been waiting to find a way to get back to Lydia, is released.  But he is not alone – a few other nasty ghouls and one crazy poltergeist also come through. 

Now it wouldn’t be a modern-day Tim Burton film without the likes of Johnny Depp!  So let’s make him the crazy poltergeist character- real dark and creepy, but funny as hell, and oh-so-sexy!  So he comes through the portal, and immediately forms an attachment to the house, and later, to the girl.  At first, Beetlejuice is fine with Depp’s character hanging around, he even takes him under his wing to teach him the ways of the “bio-exorcist” and supernatural troublemaker, but Beetlejuice soon gets enraged, as he is extremely territorial, and doesn’t want any other entities crouching on his space.  He especially thinks he still has a shot with Lydia after all these years.  Beetlejuice sends the young poltergeist packing, but there’s only one problem – Depp’s character just won’t leave!  And he is much younger and stronger than his older counterpart.

Lydia and her husband return home to find that there is a battle of ghoulish wits being waged, and that their children have not only brought back Beetlejuice, but they have opened a portal.  Lydia’s husband doesn’t remain a skeptic for very long!  Comedy ensues.  A battle of wits and haunts to free the household from Depp’s character and to banish the bothersome Beetlejuice once and for all to get him to attach himself to another location, begins.  Bring in Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin as the Maitlands, who are summoned to help, and, voila!  A dark and hilarious paranormal romp!

Yes, I am available to write the screenplay for this – just sayin’!

Have a great week, Everyone!


October 19, 2013

An Original, and Darkly-Humorous Poem to Get You in the Halloween Spirit!

Salve Omni!

Happy Saturday, Everyone!

Wow, it has been too long!  I do apologize for the recent lack of posts – the past three weeks have been extremely busy; leaving me with very little time to write.  It always feels so strange when I don’t write or post anything – writing is definitely one of my passions – has always been.  Hopefully I will be able to resume writing 1- 2 weekly posts from here on, with no interruptions. 

Since Halloween is fast approaching, I thought I would start this brand-new post with an original piece that I wrote last month.  I have a teddy bear named Balthazar.  He is a cute, little lovable bear that has been with me pretty-much since the day I was born (that’s 31 years…yikes!  I wonder how old that is in teddy bear years?)  He is well-loved, as you can see from the photos – his fur is a bit scruffy, his nose is crooked, and his mouth is missing (been that way for years now…I couldn’t tell you what happened to it), but, I still think he is as cute as a button!

Sinister?  No way...just look at that little face!

Despite his presence in my life and my world, my husband and I feel as if he might have been around for much longer than a mere 31 years.  I’ll explain…for some strange reason, Balthazar seems to creep the crap out of people!  I don’t see it (OK, yes I do), but my husband, friends and family all claim that there is something sinister about him.  Sinister?  Hardly!  Strange?  Maybe.  I will say one thing…don’t let the cute innocent exterior fool you!  Balthazar is a prankster with a very dark sense of humor.  We will often find him wielding knives/swords from our collection over some of the other stuffed animals, while shouting, “There can be only one!” in that little timid voice of his.  Perhaps he is just looking to practice his fencing skills.  He often appears in random places…one moment he’ll be sitting on the bed...moments later, I’ll find him peeking in the doorway of our TV room.  If you fall asleep on the sofa, you might just wake up to find the little bear peering over you, quietly observing…disturbingly quiet!

Of course he isn’t this old, but my husband and I can’t help but imagine this little creature creeping out the children of the Victorian era.  I can just imagine this small, quiet little bear with no mouth, sitting on a chair in a child’s nursery or playroom – watching and waiting.  I imagine a very dark and sinister sort of teddy bear.  Although he says nothing and “does nothing”, all of the children who are unfortunate enough to possess him end up dying mysterious deaths or suffer the strangest injuries.  I imagine Balthazar as having a very curious story to tell…that is, if he could talk (no, of course he can’t talk…that-would-just-be crazy?!!!)

My first passion has always been poetry.  I have been writing original poetry for about twenty years now.  So far, I have been published twice – once in a small anthology when I was in middle school, and again in high school. 
Recently, I was inspired to write a series of macabre, yet strangely funny, poems based on poor unsuspecting Victorian children, who meet their demise at the hands of Mr. Balthazar.  I know it sounds horrible, but believe me, they are quite humorous and entertaining – great fun for the whole family to read and enjoy!  To get you in the Halloween spirit, I thought I would share one of these poems with you.  Let me know what you think of the poem – I have written a few more like this that I might be inclined to share in future posts.  I am currently working on a small book of macabre, yet fun, poems in this style.  Of course, each poem will be illustrated for the full effect – but until then, you will just have to use your imagination!

And now, the poem:

One Lump, Or, Tree?

(An original poem written by Trijan Maddux, 9-2-2013)

Kara-Anne-Mae had a tea party one day –
With Balthazar, and a few other toys.
Out in the open air –
‘Twas quite the affair –
And safe from the taunts of the boys.

“One lump, or two?”
While bending to lace-up her shoe,
She heard a timid voice ask.
Looking up in the tree,
She asked, “Who is speaking to me?”
The last thing she did see –
Why, the little bear, B –
With a saw, on a limb –
And then…Crash!